i have a 20 12 months previous niece who me and my husband had minimize a deal with about a couple of years back and the deal was that we would shell out for her collage and maintain a roof more than her head ( she lives in the guest house) in return if she would Attend to our two kids whilst we worked off a handful of months during the summer time whilst we worked her mother and father had considered this was a good best since we dwell in an additional state that she wished to go to collage at and with me and my husband Traveling a lot well about a 12 months goes but and things are operating out effectively with her and we pay out her for her time and make certain that she has and seek out to our children's desires also when we are away and make certain that she has money to get care of them effectively as the yr goes by our niece falls into a bad crowed and i had began noticing this ahead of hubby dose and i had warned her to keep absent from them that she has a great issue heading for her but 1 night although we was a way working she had a huge party in our residence with our children in the presents of her undesirable friends all type of factors had went wrong they had shoveled our two year old into a wall even though she had just sit there and allow them do this and the consuming ( we have a video clip camera in our house) lets just say the property was comply destroyed by her close friends this helps make me sense like a bad parent for trusting her but i was just questioning what are the costs i can put on her and her friends even if we informed her no buddies more than when i had witnessed the video clip although i was so many miles absent when my husband had showed this to me i had when nuts on my employees and started off turning into a momma bear over her cubs
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Answer by pointer1212
well first off sorry to listen to what occurred.
and if it was me i would sit down with her and indicate her the pros and cons of what will occur to her in her lifetime if things maintain going the way they are and make it a rule that if it takes place once again she is out of your property and will not be aloud back again in and you will sue her and her close friends for damaging your residence.
attempt to be a pal for her not a mother i bet shes hunting for a g/f she can sit back and speak to when factors get hard or shes perplexed she has a mom allow your husband be the dad to her but you should be the g/f she could confide in when she feels overcome with issues.
at 20 years previous alot of youngsters are not grown up and are trying to make the transformation from teenager to adult and get puzzled at periods on what to do.
stick to your guns when you say you will kick her out if she does it yet again and indicate it, she will be in a spot to pick a area to dwell and a free experience to college or back again property with her mom and dad and uncover a career and spend for her individual school, first thing to do is have your husband set this rule down and back again him up on it but also let her know the two you can do factors hang out and discuss like accurate pals, get her out to a bar or somewhere for adults to hang out have a discuss with her dont scorn her or beat down on her let your husband do that.
that way it seems like your there for her and you play the good friend when she needs someone to chat too.
make her operate off the damages and check out to get her to take responsibility for the young children currently being hurt and speak to her and notify her your husband is going to go to the police with the tape and she will be held one hundred% accountable for it if she does not aid with correcting the mess and does it once more and she can encounter 10+ years in prison for placing children in harms way.
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