Q&A: Need help editing my introduction and first paragraph?

Question by sparki3: Require aid editing my introduction and first paragraph?
"In 2003, one particular in three high college documented involvement in a physical fight and roughly one in 16 substantial college college students documented carrying a weapon on college residence." (Healthy Men and women 2000, 2003) Though it is no concealed key, that violence has been on the rise in our school techniques for numerous many years, the time has fore come to standardize and implement (apply and enforce) distinct safety measures, coaching procedures for workers and college students, and for colleges to create a strong partnership with their neighborhood law enforcement, to assist avoid and avoid potential occurrences.
A lot of universities these days lack the simple fundamentals when it comes to getting a safe facility. A number of methods need to have to be taken when it comes to managing violence inside of universities some might be high priced and much more hard to put into action, whilst other individuals are just a issue of "getting the ball rolling." But the only way to stop and ensure that pupils will be safe is to get started by constructing a basis. Applying anonymous hotlines are an exceptional resource for students to maintain their educational institutions knowledgeable of probably hazardous conditions. "Our little ones are nonetheless our best eyes and ears." (Bert Ammernan, www.scholastic.com, article by Alexandra Hanson-Harding) As nicely as safeguarding universities they are also designed with the intent to give student's piece of mind that an individual is constantly there for them, not only in violent situations, but also when feelings of confusion or un-acceptance are beginning to consider an affect on an person. An additional good to hotlines is that most of them function on a volunteer basis in which the pupils dedicate their very own time, possibly it be for grades or for individual factors. The implementation of protection guards or hall monitors as been proven to be affective throughout universities. A student's behavior can alter significantly when they are informed of authority getting existing all through the facility. In much more severe circumstances in which the ranges of violence is better than that of other schools, the set up of medal detectors, surveillance camera's, or even random clothes and backpack searches could most likely help prevent violence. "In Coweta County, Georgia, pupils must carry textbooks in mesh or see-by way of bags so they can not hide guns." (Alexandra Hanson-Harding, www.scholastic.com) Even even though upgrading or implementing specific protection measures would seem like a great notion, colleges nevertheless need to have to be mindful not to conflict with a student's individual rights.


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Solution by Amanda C
if you are making use of MLA parenthetical referencing, it is incorrect, you do not need to have the URL

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