FUNNY: To All Our Wal-Mart Shoppers:?

Question by Feline05: FUNNY: To All Our Wal-Mart Shoppers:?
This is a letter from Walmart to a lady & her husband:

Mr. & Mrs. Fenton are retired, & Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Walmart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in & out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to Mrs. Fenton

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past 6 months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We can't tolerate this behavior & may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:

1)June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3) July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4) July 19: Walked up to an employee & told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares..... & watched what happened.
5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk & asked to put a bag of M&M's on Lay away.
6) September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7) September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8) September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry & asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9) October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a Mirror, picked his nose.
10) November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11) December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" Theme.
12) December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" Using different size funnels.
13) December 18: Hid in a clothing rack & when people browse through, Yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14) December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
Assumes the fetal position and screams "NO ! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least ......

15) December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
Awhile, Then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Best regards,
Walmart


Best answer:

Answer by Just Me
Incredibly lame.... 0/10

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!